Sin in a sheet pan

February 18, 2017

Out of the oven; the hard thing is the waiting for them to cool.

Out of the oven; the hard thing is the waiting for them to cool.

It’s been a good while since I made these cookies. There’s a reason for that.

Low-cal they are not. In fact, a more than a couple of them are likely to put you into a diabetic coma.

But dang, they’re good.

These go by any number of different names — I’ve heard them called seven-layer cookies, millionaire cookies, and I forget what all else, but what I’ve heard them called most often is Hello Dolly bars. Not sure what they have to do wtih the movie, but, nevertheless, that’s what they are.

I’d been looking at that left-over-from-Christmas bag of semi-sweet chips lying in the tray on my counter since Christmas, and periodically when I’d look at it, I’d think of these. I had the other makings; graham crackers for crumbs for the crust; butter; coconut; pecans; condensed milk. And as I was grocery shopping this morning, I ran across salted caramel chips.

Let me repeat that slowly: Salted. Caramel. Chips.

Yes, they’re as good as they sound.

Halfway through the layering process; butter, crumbs, chocolate chips, pecans down.

Halfway through the layering process; butter, crumbs, chocolate chips, pecans down.

So when I was checking the recipe to make certain it didn’t call for something esoteric I didn’t have, I noticed some other variations that called for the addition of a layer of butterscotch chips on top. Meh, I thought. No biggie. But salted caramel chips? Salted caramel chips would be a decided biggie.

So. I set out. For a change, I went exactly by the recipe and the directions, but for adding the caramel chips. Well, and not measuring the pecans. I just went about breaking up pecan halves and tossing them in the cake pan until I had what looked like a nice layer of ’em.

Crumb-crushing par excellence. With assistance.

Crumb-crushing par excellence. With assistance.

I melted the butter in the cake pan in the oven, since I had it on anyway. Layered the crumbs, which had been assisted by my high-tech crumb-crushing device (which in turn was assisted by sous-chef Lucy) and smoothed them out relatively level (the butter won’t penetrate all the crumbs, initially, and I didn’t bother to stir them in). Then came the chocolate chips, then the pecans, then the coconut, then the condensed milk, and finally the caramel chips on top. As you can see, they didn’t melt enough that I could spread them with a spatula when they came out of the oven; I’d put them over the pecans.

These baked for 30 minutes at 350. The corner pieces were a bit well-done; I might cut it a minute or two next time.

The recipe says cut them in 3-inch squares. I have to call bullshit on that one. A three-inch square of this stuff would be such a sugar overload it’d make me ill.

But if you ‘n y’mama ‘n ’em want to be the hit of the next bring-a-dessert event you’re attending, bring these. In fact, you might want to bring two pans of them. You’ll be the hit of the evening.

 

 

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