Have you missed me?

November 24, 2010

I’ve ,missed YOU!

And while I’m blogging my thankful little heart out over on eGullet, I can’t put quite as much of “me” into those posts. I mean, those folks, unlike y’mama ‘n ’em,  just want to hear about food.

So for food stuff, go here:


For other slings and arrows and various vicissitudes (isn’t that a LOVELY word???), you can check here, particularly as I ought to have a bit more time to write tomorrow and over the weekend, amidst shopping and football and basketball and other assorted fun stuff.

Two noteworthy incidents of the week: the great turkey debacle, and the great chili ripoff.

Every year, our crew participates in the Downtown Merchants Association Chili Cookoff. This year was no different. Now, bear in mind, we have won the best decorated booth for the past three years in a row, and won best non-traditional chili last year. This year, we were primed to defend both our crowns.

First, the booth:

Now, I ask you: Is this a fine booth? Or what?

This sucker was a work of art. Art, I’m telling you. (And Your Faithful Cook/Blogger did not look too shabby in her boots and cowboy hat, herownself, either.)

We did not win. These people won.
M’mm h’mm. I’m not sayin’….I’m just sayin’.

Ohhhhhkkkkaaaayyyy, then.

There was one more posse of pissed-off cowgirls, I do mean to tell you.
The chili was merely average. I didn’t taste anyone else’s. I wasn’t ashamed to have my name on ours (though it was really a group effort), but it was a long-ass way from the best I ever made.
Anyway, a good time was had by all. Until they announced the winners and We Were Not Them. So we had another beer and licked our wounds.
This, of course, being the evening after the morning of the denouement of the Great Turkey Debacle. Leave it to me to eff up a turkey two full days before Thanksgiving.
I’d gone shopping Saturday morning, bought most of the groceries I needed for the weekend (except what I forgot), along with a loss-leader Honeysuckle White turkey, at 37 cents a pound with my Kroger card. Didn’t need a 14-pound turkey (the smallest I could find), and in fact, had gone in with the notion of getting a turkey breast. But turkey breasts were about $12 or $13 apiece, and this baby was a little over five, and hey, he had a breast (a pair of ’em, in fact). He just had legs to go with ’em. I mean, hell, you can make money in the SI swimsuit issue with those attributes. So I bought the whole bird. With a bag of ice, because there ain’t near-’bout room in either my fridge or my freezer for him, so I’m going to stash him in the cooler on the front porch.
So I deposited Mr. Bird and the bag o’ ice on the front porch next to the cooler, and went about the business of bringing in the rest of the groceries and such stuff. And I didn’t go outside again that day. And I didn’t go outside Sunday. And Monday when I went outside I was half asleep, and when I got home, it was dark.
Tuesday morning, I figured, “Self? You best check and see if Mr. Bird needs another bag o’ ice.” So I looked….and there is Mr. Bird, on the porch, next to the cooler, next to the empty ice bag. Amid a puddle.
I do believe I cursed for 10 minutes and never repeated myself. And then I decided I was probably afflicted by early onset Alzheimers or dementia, and I shut up before the neighbors heard me.
So I bought another turkey — found a 10-pounder this time, only about four bucks. Thank you, Kroger specials.
You and y’mama ‘n ’em remind me again what tomorrow is?

One Response to “Have you missed me?”

  1. Cathe Patton Says:

    I agree! Your booth definitely should have won! 🙂

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