Slicing and dicing….and bleeding

July 7, 2010

Are these some pretty, pretty slices, or what?

They told me. They TOLD me.

“Be sure you use the guard when you slice.”

“Don’t slice without using the guard.”

Sigh. The half-a-dime sized slice of skin missing from my ring finger on my right hand, which has already bled through two bandages, is living proof of this.

But damn, I love my Edgeware Mandoline Slicer. (Review here:

Enough to bleed over it.

I will use the guard next time.

In any event, I finally broke out the mandoline for the first time recently, just playing around with this and that. Tonight, I used it to slice all kinds of stuff for a homemade pizza, to-wit:

Summer garden on a crust, it is.

I may not be in much danger of putting Papa John’s out of business, but I like my pizzas. I just need to break myself of the habit of trying to load too much stuff on them.

This baby has sliced tomatos, sliced cucumbers (I had them, needed to use them, and, well, why not?), fresh mozzarella, grated sheep’s milk cheese, and grated parmesan. And I topped it with a tangle of fresh basil, thyme and oregano from the herb garden.

(And oh, those slices. I sliced such gorgeous, uniform slices. So easily. So quickly. So painlessly, until that last slice. I even sliced onion I was going to put on the pizza, until I decided that was too much. So now I have marvelous sliced Vidalias with which to do something. And I had two cucumbers I needed to use, so they’re now sliced and residing in rice vinegar, mirin and ginger. May just add the onions to that.)


I actually meant to put the herbs right on top of the tomatos, but…I forgot. And it’s hard to unscatter grated cheese.

Here’s my recipe,while I can remember what I did:

  • 1 medium tomato, sliced thin
  • 1/2 medium cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup chopped/chiffonaded assorted herbs, sliced thin
  • 2 oz fresh mozzarella, sliced (because that’s how much I had)
  • 1/2 cup grated parmesan
  • 1/2 cup grated sheep’s milk cheese

…assembled in whatever order you remember to assemble them. I intended to put the parmesan right on top of the crust, too, and I forgot that.

Oh, and I sprinkled the tomatos with a little kosher salt and drizzled them with some olive oil. It

The whole thing went into a 500-degree oven for about 8 minutes or so and came out looking lovely, smelling better, and tasting better yet.

And a big thank-you to my culinary hero, Mark Bittman, for his pizza crust recipe, as follows. He recommends a stand mixer, but as I don’t have one, I use my FoPro.

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 envelope (2 tsp.) yeast
  • 2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 cup water

Where we differ is slightly in the prep. Mark would have you dump the flour, salt and yeast into the mixture. I prefer to let the yeast bloom for a few minutes in a cup of warm water. While it’s doing that, I whiz the salt up into the flour, and then add the olive oil (well, I may get close to 3 tablespoons than 2, but I like the added flavor), then add the water/yeast, and process until it forms a ball.

While it’s doing that, I take the cup the water was in, fill it about halfway, and stick it in the microwave. I turn the dough ball out on my board, pour another dollop of EVOO in a bowl, and turn the microwave on for a couple of minutes. And then I knead the dough until the microwave dings, coat the dough ball well in the oil in the bowl, take the water out of the now-warm-and-moist microwave, shut the door and let it rise for an hour. About. Or until it’s double. About.

That makes enough dough for two pizzas. I made another one with tomato sauce, Italian seasoning and grated mozz and parm for New Son. He’s not into garden veggie stuff. And I almost let his burn while I was in the bathroom applying a second bandage after I’d bled through the first one.

I’ve learned my lesson. I swear I have. And when you and y’mama ‘n ’em get an Edgeware Mandoline, be damn sure you don’t use it without the guard!


5 Responses to “Slicing and dicing….and bleeding”

  1. kriggs1976 Says:

    That pizza looks wonderful! I like trying new things out to. I have one of those slicers, you get going so fast it is easy to cut yourself. Ouch sorry about that.


  2. Len Cleavelin Says:

    Sorry to hear about the wound. Frankly, I’d be scared fecal-matterless to use the mandoline without the hand guard but hey… I’ve sliced my thumb on my food processor’s slicer disc, and that sumb*tch bled through five bandages. Since then I’ve been wary around anything edged.

    Damn, that pizza looks good….

  3. Pamela Coulter Says:

    Hey you forgot to tell trish and I you won on the french toast. We are proud. I am going to try it. See you ins later

  4. littleclove Says:


    That has always been my fear in using one of those things. Hope you are healed.

    I agree with you on the yeast thing. I have tried just dumping the yeast into the whole mixing bowl along with everything else and it just seems to sit on top of the dough. I would rather dissolve it in some water.

    I have tried countess pizza crust recipes, one in which Jamie Oliver had me make 7 pounds of dough in one recipe! I made that 6 mos ago and I think I STILL have some of that dough at the bottom of my freezer. I have yet to find one that I really like. Good pizza dough is a tricky little devil for me.

    I’ll give yours a try. It looks delicous!

  5. kayatthekeyboard Says:

    I am now at least no longer bleeding through bandages. Sucker still hurts, though, and I’m figuring I’ll be in bandaids for a while yet. Those Germans can make some serious blades, I’m telling you! But I still love the slicer.

    I want to cook hamburgers for a crowd, now, so I can slice all sorts of cool veggies to go on them.

    And cucumbers in rice vinegar and mirin are To. Die. For.

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