If it’s sweet, is it still a pizza?

May 19, 2010

Leftovers become dessert.

I’ve always contended if you had apples and pantry staples, you could come up with a pretty damned impressive dessert. I may alter that to say that if you have apples and leftovers, your limit is only your imagination.

I had pizza dough left over from last week that I needed to get rid of. I had apples that had been in the fridge longer than they should have been. And I had creme fraiche that was about to not be fraiche any more.

And I have a warped, strange mind that occasionally approaches brilliance. Tonight was one of those.

You take your pizza dough and stretch/toss/roll/flatten that baby out until it mostly fills your pizza pan. You take your leftover creme fraiche, which you had been eating on blackberries until you ate all the blackberries, and you spread it on the crust. Then you quarter, core, peel and slice about 8 small Granny Smith apples (maybe tennis ball size, and I did one too many, but it was the last one and it was lonely), and you nuke them until they’re about half done.

While they’re cooling, you go searching for what else might go well in this concoction. You find a half a small bag of walnuts (I know the walnuts are not in the photo. Bear with me here.) and a half a jar of caramel ice cream topping.

You neatly arrange the apple slices atop the creme fraiche, and you sprinkle it with the jar of cinnamon sugar you keep on hand. And you sprinkle walnuts. And you drizzle ice cream topping, and you slap it in the oven for about 8 minutes at 500 because, well, it’s a pizza, ain’t it?

But you forget that the walnuts, full as they are of lovely nutty oil, will burn at that temp in that period of time, so you pick them off, swearing vehemently all the while, and throw them away. And you do not realize that the ice cream topping, which was REALLY a tad bit more than you needed, will get very liquidy, run off the edges of the crust and then become quite, quite solid again around the perimeter of your pizza pan, which you will then contemplate just throwing away rather than cleaning.

But then you will let that baby cool while you cook this kid-friendly dinner:

Chopped steak, lima beans, tomatos, mac & cheese. OK, he didn't eat the tomatos and only a scant tablespoon of lima beans, but still.

 and you finish your drink and you finally go and cut you a little wedge of that thing, and you think, Damn, sistah, you did all right on that one!

You and y’mama ‘n ’em try it sometime.

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