Grrrrrr. (Or, plumbing travails, successfully concluded)

January 30, 2010

UPDATE: FIXED THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

Here, should you ever have to do it yourself, are the steps:

  1. Try Liquid Plumr; wait the requisite 30 minutes, follow with hot water. Note that this does not work. Go to bed.
  2. Discover, upon awakening, that the sink has at least drained. Reassured, scoop nasty stuff out with handfuls of paper towels, take out trash, begin to scour sink with hot water and note it is not draining.
  3. Dip out hot water, and try Drano this time.
  4. Take kids to work because the roads are icy. While you are out, buy a plunger.
  5. Come back, chase Drano with hot water, and plunge. Come near passing out from fumes. Open door, despite frigid temps.
  6. Alternate Drano, Liquid Plumr, and hot water until both products are gone. Resort to E-how.
  7. Try vinegar and soda. Use entire box of soda and quart of vinegar. Alternate plunging with boiling water. At least the fumes aren’t giving me a headache.
  8. Take trap off. Congratulate self that you remembered to put something underneath to catch overflow.  Note with dismay trap is clean as a whistle from repeated applications of Drano, Liquid Plumr, vinegar, soda and boiling water.
  9. Go pick kids up from work. Go by WalMart and buy plumber’s snake.
  10. Insert snake until it stops. Try not to look at ugly goo that comes out. Try to decide if it’s stopping because you hit and failed to break up the clog, or whether it won’t go past a bend in the pipe. Because you are impatient, decide it’s the latter.
  11. Go back to boiling water, putting stopper in one side of drain and setting a cast-iron dutch oven filled with water on top of it to keep it mostly sealed.
  12. Dump boiling water through garbage disposal side, while running disposal. Repeat. Repeat some more. Keep repeating. Pour a drink. Repeat some more.

It’s draining. Slowly, but it’s draining. Triumph feels good.

*********

I have fought since last night with a clogged kitchen sink. I’ve used a bottle of Liquid Plumr, most of a bottle of Drano, a couple of stockpots of boiling water, and am currently letting vinegar and baking soda work on it, to be followed with more boiling water. Next step is to take off the trap and pry the shit out with a coathanger.

This motherfucker has gone and Pissed Me Off. Cooking is suspended until I Defeat This Fucking Sink Clog.

That is all. You and y’mama ‘n ’em may return to your regularly scheduled programming.

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