The Millenium Generation palate

November 18, 2009

I have raised a Philistine.


Child C, left; me; Child B.



You raise three children. They are about as opposite as children can be. Child A, not pictured, is my sushi-eating buddy (well, she and Child B both, but Child A was the first one to take to sushi). Child B is my salad and veggies, gluten-intolerant kid. Child C, though, is my low maintenance kid, particularly as it comes to food.

I am preparing to leave home for eight days, leaving Child C and the dog to each other’s tender mercies. The dog is relatively easy to take care of; we have dog food, we have treats, we have puppy pads, and we are going to the vet next week to get our booster shot.

Child C, you realize, cannot cook. She cooked a chicken pot pie once, with me on the phone telling her step by step directions. She can cook frozen pizzas and other frozen convenience foods, and she can make toast about 50 percent of the time without burning it.  And she can warm up leftovers in the microwave.

Now, I have a freezer full of various single-serving portions of entrees and soups and stews. This, you understand, does not interest Child C. I had leftover bouef bourguignon and leftover potatos dauphinois on Monday; she took the potatos to work, declined to take the beef. Kid never met a potato she didn’t like. Her favorite meals for me to cook are breakfast — smashed potatos, over-easy eggs, bacon or sausage, toast or biscuit — or sauteed squash and onions with fried potatos and fried okra. (She’s met very few fried foods she didn’t like, either. She once weighed about 180, too. Now she’s a size 4 or 6.) She loves my chicken pot pie, but not leftover; she loves my mac and cheese, especially leftover.

And she’s just taken a new job in which she gets only a 30-minute lunch break, which makes it difficult to go out and actually get anything, not to mention it’s cheaper if Mama buys it at the grocery or she takes it from home. (Today, in her defense, she DID take fried rice from last night.) So in the interest of her not starving to death while I’m gone for eight days, I asked her what she wanted me to pick up at the grocery for her.

Know what Child C is eating for the next week?

  1. Frozen pizza, the el cheapo Totino’s kind that’s a buck and a quarter apiece.
  2. Hot Pockets, four varieties.
  3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
  4. Turkey and provolone sandwiches.

Can you get scurvy in a week? Actually, she’s complaining of her gums hurting. That may well be what it is.

Sigh. Is there any hope for a palate like that? Can you and y’mama ‘n ’em convince my kid to broaden her gustatory horizons a little?


One Response to “The Millenium Generation palate”

  1. Len Cleavelin Says:

    Can you get scurvy in a week?

    Starting from perfectly healthy, you could bear about six-weeks or so of total vitamin C deprivation before you’d start having symptoms of scurvy. She’s probably safe.

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